I was not planning on sharing anything regarding my delivery but I have received a lot of questions from friends and family regarding my experience with a Doula so here I am, sharing it all.
We decided that we would have a doula with our second child because my delivery with my first could have gone better. I can share those details another time but the main problem I had with my first was that I felt like I was not being heard. To try to avoid that the second time around, I wanted someone with me that would help my medical team understand my wishes. So we hired a doula.
We interviewed our doula first to make sure that she was a good fit. The doula and company that we chose was a great choice for us because I had a team of doulas. That meant that if my doula could not make it, there were two other doulas that would take her place. They also made sure that I met my team before my delivery month so that I would be comfortable with any last minute changes. I was also able to stay in contact with them the rest of my pregnancy via group chat. If I had any questions or concerns or simply wanted to vent about something pregnancy related, they were there.
Due to covid, on the day of my induction, I could only have two people in my delivery room at a time. The plan was to have my doula come and get us settled in, then my mother would stay during the downtime when we were awaiting things to get started, once things started to get a little more tense, my doula would return and help me through labor. Perfect plan right? Well that did not happen.
When we arrived at the hospital, my doula helped us get settled, made sure everyone had a copy of my visual birth plan, and stayed a few hours until we were simply in the “waiting period”. When I arrived at the hospital I was 4 cm dilated. I went four hours with Pitocin, a labor-inducing drug, and did not progress very much so we decided to have my physician break my water and that is when things started, to get real, real fast. My contractions were almost instantly more intense, but because I could breathe through them, I thought I was fine. My husband and nurse were providing counter pressure for me as I bounced on a yoga ball. Eventually, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. My nurse escorted me to the bathroom and was by my side when I had a really intense contraction. I told her it felt like I had to poop (TMI but I don’t care, this is my story). She immediately got me out of the bathroom and told my medical team that I was asking (more like yelling) for Epidural and in a lot of pain. My physician checked me out and told me that I was 10 cm dilated and medication would slow things down. The OB/GYN’s exact words were, “I think if you give us two good pushes, your baby will be here.”
I was in disbelief for obvious reasons and kept asking for Epidural when I had another contraction and pop, there was our baby girl’s head. All-in-all, I only pushed three times. From the time my water broke to the time I delivered was roughly 30 minutes. Even though I did not have Epidural, it was the best delivery experience and I had virtually no downtime (I can share these specifics too another time). Of course, right after I delivered our baby girl, my doula walked in.
My delivery was a little more complicated due to covid but while my doula was in the room with us, she did ensure that the medical team knew what I wanted and left to ask the medical team any questions we had and kept us informed of what was going to happen next. Post delivery, she was also there to ensure that certain things happened (for example, I was one of the weirdos that wanted to look at my placenta…she knew my plan and made sure I had my placenta tour).
Because my doula did not make it to my delivery, we ended up using her as a postpartum doula which was amazing. My mom left after three weeks and I did not want to be alone during the day with the girls so my doula ended up helping me weeks four and five. She was a true blessing. Our doula ended up helping me with things like how to breastfeed in a carrier and checked in with me on how I was feeling. She also cleaned, helped out with our rambunctious toddler, brought me food and was just an overall extension of how my mom would have helped me if she were there. I would tell any mommy that a postpartum doula is a wonderful investment because they alleviate some of the pressure for you and you can actually get some rest or focus more on what you need to (your new addition) without being overwhelmed.
Deliveries rarely go exactly to plan. Therefore, if you feel like you would like some extra care, invest in a doula but here are some pointers:
- Prior to delivery make sure you are able to meet your doula (or your team) that will be at your delivery
- Have a back-up that you are comfortable with in case anything happens to your doula and they are not able to be there when you deliver.
- If you are not able to use their services for your delivery, see if they can provide other services for you as a replacement (such as postpartum care).
- Make sure that they understand your delivery plan and the specific things that you would like to avoid if possible. This way your doula can advocate for you.
“Remember your delivery is such a special time and the more support you have, the better. “
— Coley w.